The Ultimate Guide to Off-Season Screen Storage (Stop Shoving Them in the Shed)
Cottage season’s over. The leaves are turning, the dock is stacked, and you’re standing there…
Ever feel like the mosquitoes in Muskoka have a personal vendetta against you? Like, they’re not just out for blood (literally), but also out to mock your life choices? If you’ve spent a summer evening in cottage country swatting and cussing, you might suspect those little bloodsuckers are laughing at you. Newsflash: they totally are. In fact, your torn window screen is the hot gossip in the mosquito community.
Around here in Muskoka – and yep, I’m roping in Barrie and Simcoe County too – mosquitoes are basically the nosy neighbours of the natural world. And ‘oh boy’, do they notice everything. Your screens? Oh, they’ve got opinions. Juicy ones. So, top off your mug of Tim Hortons (or Muskoka Roastery coffee, if you’re fancy) and settle in. It’s time to eavesdrop on what the “Muskoka Mosquito Mafia” is saying about your screens (and, by extension, about you).
Picture this: I’m lounging on the dock at twilight, overlooking Lake Muskoka, living my best cottage life. The sunset is Instagram-golden, the loons are calling, and I’m pretty sure I just heard a mosquito snicker at me. Actually, not just one—an entire swarm is hovering by the torn corner of the window screen, sounding like they’re trading jokes. Mosquito 1:“Did ya see the hole in this thing? It’s basically a VIP entrance.” Mosquito 2: “No cover charge, all-you-can-eat, eh!” Then they high-five (high-leg?) and dive-bomb toward my ankles.
I swear, Muskoka mosquitoes have a gossip network faster than a Barrie Tim Hortons drive-thru line. They know which cottage has a patio screen door propped open and which poor soul on Georgian Bay left a 2-inch gap in the slider. It’s like a winged Yelp review system: “Screen quality at Cottage #6: five stars, easy access, would visit again.” Up in these parts (where the mosquito might as well be the provincial bird), news spreads quickly.
If your cottage is the one with the funny screen repair Muskoka style (read: duct tape patches and wishful thinking), trust me, every mosquito from Gravenhurst to Huntsville has gotten the memo. For any wide-open patio situation, you can practically hear them purring, screen me like one of your French doors, as they waltz in through that gap you swore was “just for a second.”
If you thought those buzzers were only a Muskoka problem, think again. Mosquitoes in Simcoe County are just as ruthless (and chatty) as their northern cousins. Barrie might have more asphalt than lakes, but that doesn’t stop a determined skeeter. They’ll breed in a birdbath, throw a block party in your backyard, and be waiting by your front door like tiny vampires with VIP passes. Even the cottage screens Barrie homeowners proudly install each spring get stress-tested by these relentless bugs. For a mosquito, Barrie is basically Muskoka with more Starbucks and fewer trees – not a deal-breaker.
Small-town Simcoe folks know the drill, too. From Oro-Medonte farmhouses to Orillia bungalows, the mosquito gossip chain is alive and well: “Pssst, 123 Maple Street left their bathroom window cracked.” Swarm. One friend in Collingwood swears the mosquitoes have a weekly poker night where they trade tips on who has the loosest patio screen. (I believe it. I’ve seen the bite marks.)
And if you’ve ever attended a Barrie backyard BBQ at dusk, you’ve witnessed the unofficial Simcoe County greeting: the slap wave. Oh, you don’t know the slap wave? It’s that frantic dance of every guest swatting invisible foes, all murmuring the same prayer: please, for the love of poutine, let them stop bugging me already!
Alright, enough letting the mosquitoes roast us. Time to turn the tables. The easiest way to shut up a mosquito (and wipe that smug buzz off their face) is a good old-fashioned screen fix. Mosquitoes hate a well-maintained screen — it’s like their group chat got shut down by a surprise admin. Suddenly, your cottage isn’t the easy target on the block, and their little mosquito gossip circle is scrambling for Plan B (probably the neighbour’s place with the busted screen… sorry, not sorry).
Not that I’m hinting or anything (cough totally hinting cough). But if you, say, wanted to silently clap back at the Mosquito Mafia, you could call in the local screen repair cavalry. (Hi, that’s us, WindowRises.com, waves enthusiastically from behind a roll of replacement mesh). We’re the friendly folks who literally fix what the bugs crawl through — one sassy screen at a time — so you can enjoy your lake view without becoming mosquito hors d’oeuvres. Think of it as Operation it ‘puts the mesh on’. Execute that mission, and watch those little bloodsuckers freak out like teens who just lost Wi-Fi.
Bottom line? The mosquitoes in Muskoka, Barrie, and all over Simcoe County will always have their opinions. Let’s give ’em something new to talk about: how they can’t get into your cottage anymore. Imagine the frustrated buzz at their next meeting: “Ever since they called in that WindowRises.com crew, we can’t even get a footing on the screen door. Total party pooper.” Music to our ears, right?
So go on, be the talk of the swarm (for all the right reasons). Fix up that screen, arm yourself with some bug spray just in case, and enjoy your summer nights bite-free and smug. And hey, feel free to share this with a fellow cottage owner who’s in a losing battle with the bugs. At the very least, you’ll all get a laugh — and at best, you’ll reclaim your cottage from the tiny terror squad. The Muskoka mosquitoes might run the gossip column, but with a little help from your screen-savvy friends (wink wink), you’ll get the last laugh.
