
You think you’re picky with your dating profile?
Wait until you meet the real red flags — like saggy mesh, frayed corners, and the dreaded builder-grade fibreglass pretending to be “durable.”
So we did what any screen repair pros with too much coffee would do:
We reviewed every screen mesh like it’s on Tinder.
Left swipe. Right swipe. Hard pass.
Let’s go.
Bio: “Easygoing, flexible, always available at the big box store.”
Interests: Letting bugs in after 2 years. Poking holes when you barely touch it.
Strengths: Cheap, light, won’t rust
Weaknesses: Sags faster than your New Year’s motivation
Swipe: LEFT
Status: Ghosted after one season
Bio: “Old school, silver fox vibes. Looks strong. Kind of is.”
Interests: Looking sharp, but denting permanently when your kid throws a ball at it
Strengths: Rigid, more durable than fiberglass
Weaknesses: Bends and stays bent. Oxidizes over time.
Swipe: RIGHT… if you’re nostalgic
Status: Still in your grandma’s storm door. Respect.
Bio: “Thick-skinned. Doesn’t tear easy. Good with dogs and toddlers.”
Interests: Surviving claws, being leaned on by curious kids, impressing homeowners with French Bulldogs
Strengths: 7x stronger than fiberglass
Weaknesses: Slightly less airflow, more noticeable visually
Swipe: HARD RIGHT
Status: Would marry if allowed
Bio: “Marine-grade. Doesn’t flinch. Has a secret life as a superhero.”
Interests: Blocking burglars, hurricanes, raccoons, and all nonsense
Strengths: Can’t be cut, kicked, or popped out
Weaknesses: Costs $$$, but honestly, worth every penny
Swipe: Super like
Status: Strong, silent type who actually texts back
Bio: “Environmentally conscious. Loves long walks on the sunny side.”
Interests: Blocking heat, reducing glare, saving you $ on cooling
Strengths: UV blocking, glare reduction
Weaknesses: Less airflow, thicker weave
Swipe: Conditional right (for sunrooms and patios)
Status: The eco-friend you forget about… until July
Bio: “You won’t notice me until it’s too late.”
Interests: Fraying. Tearing. Pretending to be helpful.
Strengths: Literally none
Weaknesses: EVERYTHING
Swipe: LEFT so fast we sprained our thumb
Status: Should be banned from Ontario homes
If you:
Or just save yourself the drama and let us recommend the right match for your window, door, or cottage escape.
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