Everyone dreams of cottage life.But only a few survive it long enough to call themselves true cottagers. Not weekenders.Not city folk pretending with their brand-new hiking boots picked up at Mec on Bryne Drive earlier in the day.Real cottagers. Here’s your official checklist to see where you stand: ✔️ You’ve Yelled “GET THE BUG SPRAY!” […]
Ah, HGTV.Where cottages smell like cinnamon, everyone wears freshly pressed linen, and a raccoon has definitely never kicked in the back window. Real life?A little spicier. Here’s what you’re actually signing up for north of Barrie: 1. “The Great Patio Screen Door Massacre of 2022” Lake Muskoka.One nice afternoon.One rogue wind gust. Next thing you […]
Forget zombies.Forget masked villains in abandoned cabins.If you’ve ever spent a summer night in cottage country, you already know what real terror feels like: Mosquitoes. Not just any mosquitoes.Cottage mosquitoes.Bigger. Hungrier. More aggressive than your average city bug who’s just happy to exist in your backyard. You don’t walk to your car at dusk — […]
Poor Kevin McCallister.Left behind in suburban Chicago with nothing but his wits, a creepy basement furnace, and an unlimited supply of booby-trap energy. Instead of chilling with a plate of microwave mac & cheese, Kevin had to: All while still being, you know, eight years old. Or… Hear Us Out… What if instead of playing […]
It started, as all true horror stories do, with a bump in the night. One minute you’re tucked into your cozy cottage bed, dreaming about Kawartha ice cream and maybe finally fixing that wobbly dock.The next minute — BAM. Something is outside.Or inside.You can’t tell because your flimsy old screen door is basically tissue paper […]
Ah, the big city. Where parking costs $45 an hour, every other store is a vape shop, and some guy named “Blade” tries to sell you essential oils on the sidewalk. But lucky you — you’ve escaped!You’re up in Bracebridge, land of waterfalls, farmer’s markets, and Wi-Fi that works most of the time if you […]
Building walls in Fortnite is easy.Real life? Not so much. You can’t just whip out a blueprint, tap your screen a few times, and BAM — instant wall, instant safety.In the real world (a.k.a. outside of Battle Royale), your “builds” need a little more planning — and a LOT more bug protection. If you want […]
🎤 You belong with me… and screens that don’t rip every time a breeze hits. If Taylor Swift swapped the stadium tours for screen doors, your cottage would be next-level iconic. Imagine it: Welcome to the era of Swiftie Screens — designed for real life (and occasional dramatic montages staring out the window in a […]
Cue Alan Jackson’s twang: 🎶 “She’s gone country…”Except you didn’t. And honestly? Good call. Here’s 50 reasons — funny (and painfully real if it’s happened to you) — why you’re still proudly city-slicking it in Barrie instead of buying a cabin in Huntsville, Bala, or one of those towns where “the gas station” also sells […]
Picture this:You just got your windows looking fresh — crisp new screens, no sagging, no holes, no flapping in the breeze like your neighbor’s sad old tent. Life’s good.And then your cat decides he’s an extreme athlete. 🧗♂️ Or your dog sees a squirrel and suddenly you’ve got an open concept living room. Here’s how […]