The Ultimate Guide to Off-Season Screen Storage (Stop Shoving Them in the Shed)
Cottage season’s over. The leaves are turning, the dock is stacked, and you’re standing there…
Ah, HGTV.
Where cottages smell like cinnamon, everyone wears freshly pressed linen, and a raccoon has definitely never kicked in the back window.
Real life?
A little spicier.
Here’s what you’re actually signing up for north of Barrie:
Lake Muskoka.
One nice afternoon.
One rogue wind gust.
Next thing you know, your patio screen door is:
And you’re Googling “how much for patio screen door repair” with a shaky hand.
You think you own the cottage?
You don’t.
The squirrels do.
By the time you notice them:
Somewhere between Bala Falls and Bracebridge, this is someone’s reality today.
Lesson learned the hard way near Bass Lake:
One bag of trail mix =
One destroyed window =
One bear now telling all his buddies where the good stuff is.
Filmed somewhere suspiciously close to Gravenhurst:
Net result:
Zero working screens.
One sad dad driving to Home Hardware.
Wasaga Beach, August.
Forecast says “breezy.”
You leave your patio umbrella up “just for a few more minutes.”
Next thing you know, it’s:
Congratulations. You now own a $200 canvas kite.
Here’s something you don’t see on Property Brothers: Lakeside Edition:
Seagulls dive-bombing your open cottage windows like it’s Pearl Harbor.
One woman near Moon River swears a gull dropped a dead fish into her living room.
Screen was torn.
Dog was traumatized.
Grandma almost passed out.
Muskoka: not for the weak.
Don’t let their size fool you.
Chipmunks are the Navy SEALS of cottage invasions.
One tiny hole in your screen =
True story from just outside Port Severn.
She still can’t sleep without checking the pillows first.
Somewhere near Sparrow Lake, a guy tried to “fix” his dock with duct tape, zip ties, and “positive vibes.”
Result:
Moral of the story: if it needs duct tape and a prayer, it probably also needs Security Screens.
They say you should worry about black bears.
Wrong.
You should worry about tiny cottage mice setting up a cozy Airbnb inside your walls by Thanksgiving.
One couple near Severn Falls heard “scratching” at night.
Turned out:
Victoria Harbour.
Peaceful evening.
Fireplace lit.
Wine poured.
Suddenly:
BAT. IN. THE. HOUSE.
Flapping, screeching, total mayhem.
Dad swinging a pool net like an Olympic fencer.
Mom shrieking something about rabies and inheritance rights.
Guess how it got in?
Ripped screen left unrepaired.
(Happy ending: nobody died. Bat still at large.)
Sure, you can laugh now (and you should).
But when you’re up north…
🛡️ Strong screens = fewer kayak crashes through your patio door.
🛡️ Tight window seals = fewer bears tasting your trail mix.
🛡️ Roller repairs = fewer spontaneous umbrella flights into Lake Simcoe.
Skip the horror show.
Contact WindowRises and let’s armor up your cottage screens properly before this summer becomes a new campfire story.
