Everyone dreams of cottage life.
But only a few survive it long enough to call themselves true cottagers.

Not weekenders.
Not city folk pretending with their brand-new hiking boots picked up at Mec on Bryne Drive earlier in the day.
Real cottagers.

Here’s your official checklist to see where you stand:

✔️ You’ve Yelled “GET THE BUG SPRAY!” Louder Than You’ve Ever Said “I Love You”

It’s not that you don’t love your family.
It’s just that blackflies love them more, and you’ve seen what happens when you’re “just a few minutes late.”

✔️ You Know the Exact Temperature That Melts a Kayak Onto the Roof Rack

It’s somewhere between “pleasantly warm” and “scorched-earth apocalypse.”

You now instinctively throw a towel under the kayak before parking at the LCBO.
Veteran move.

✔️ You’ve Sacrificed a Flip-Flop to a Deck Board Nail Without Hesitation

RIP Old Navy size 10, summer of 2022.
You served valiantly.

You didn’t scream.
You didn’t cry.
You just accepted your fate and kept moving toward the barbecue.

✔️ You Have a Favorite Tim Hortons Between Barrie and Muskoka — and Defend It Aggressively

Someone dares say the Gravenhurst Tim’s is better than the Washago one?
Fight me.

You know which drive-thru is fastest, which staff know how to actually make a steeped tea, and which parking lot won’t destroy your suspension.

This is serious business.

✔️ You’re Personally Offended by City People Calling It “the Cabin”

Excuse me.
It’s a cottage.
This isn’t Wisconsin.

Get it together, Chad.

✔️ You Measure Travel Distance in “Lakes Crossed,” Not Kilometers

City people say:
“It’s 40 kilometers.”

You say:
“It’s past Bass Lake but before you hit McDonald’s Bay, just after you pass Go Home Lake.”

And you say it like this is completely normal.

✔️ Your Patio Screen Door Has Survived Five Near-Death Experiences

• Slamming windstorms
• Kids “gently” shoulder-checking it
• Bears sniffing it curiously
• Road hockey warmups
• A very drunk uncle trying to “fix it” with duct tape and positive energy

And yet, it hangs on. Barely.

✔️ You Own a Mosquito Hat and You’re Not Even Embarrassed Anymore

You used to care about fashion.
Now you care about not being eaten alive at 8 PM on the deck.

You are officially free.

🎖️ Bonus Points

• If you’ve survived blackfly season without window screens, you deserve a medal.
• If your patio screen door still slides after five seasons, you deserve a lifetime achievement award.
• And if you’ve never once duct-taped a hole in the mesh, you’re either new… or lying.

Ready to Graduate from Rookie to Pro?

The secret to real cottager status?

🛡️ Security Screens.
🛠️ Patio Screen Door Repairs.

Because real cottagers survive by preparing for everything — from blackflies to bears to sudden kayak-based emergencies.

Contact WindowRises today and let’s get you ready for anything Muskoka (or your in-laws) throw at you.